Sometimes…

Diabetes,

you hit me like a ton of bricks.

Right when I think I’ve got it down (being a pancreas),

you remind me…

I’m not.

Nope.

In fact I’m not even close.
Well I’m somewhat close.

Today I walked to work.  The snow has all but melted and the sunshine was hot on my back this 60 degree February day.

And getting back home as the sun was setting over the mountains I thought about how even, how stable, how consistently under 150 my blood sugar had been.

Somehow my memory had erased the hour long low that hit after I finished teaching a yoga class, blurring time like a sand sculpture, an orange, pretzels, half a cookie eaten…

And I felt like the boss of diabetes.

Until tonight – Strangely after cooking a balanced meal, which isn’t always my reality, these busy days.

Grass-fed ground beef, broccoli steamed, and a few slices of baked Japanese sweet potato and purple potato with butter.

I’ve had a real potato craving for the past few days – unusual for me.

And now, 239, I wonder….

How can I be so relentlessly optimistic to believe for a portion of everyday that my blood sugar will never again go out of range?

But I am that hopeful (blissfully delusional).

For a few precious moments everyday,

I believe that it might be the way it once was,

when I didn’t even have to think about it.