A Change-Up

So I’m pretty excited about this. A few days ago I wrote about my recphoto 3(4)ent disgust with my own optimistic attitude about diabetes, even though that attitude is what has pulled me through over the past nine years. I’m happy to announce, I can feel it coming back! Largely because diabetes does teach me some strange and interesting things.

For the past few days I haven’t been sleeping well at all. I’ll feel tired, reading my book wrapped up in an afghan in a cozy chair, spits of snow coming down outside. Then I’ll lay down in my cozy bed, warm and tired. And then…

I’ll get this feeling like my bones are hollow and I’m a little bird on a windy branch and I could just blow away, and the feeling is sort of in my heart and mind too, like I’m a reed humming in the wind.

Being low around bedtime often feels to me like I’m vibrating slightly, but lately that feeling has extended to include a low-grade but constant mental agitation. Even when my blood sugar has been elevated, I’ve been edgier. The only and best way I can describe it at this point is a swirling feeling of being unsettled.

A couple of weeks ago I was craving more carbs and food in general at the same time that it felt like my blood sugar was frequently stuck. I wasn’t receptive to insulin like usual. I would hit 250 and stay there on and off for hours. I woke up one morning, mouth dry, feeling like I’d been on a long road trip with no water, and I could tell I hadn’t been getting the insulin I needed from my pod.

So I switched from my usual sight on my upper glute to my belly. I don’t really like having the pod on my belly because I’m more aware of it and it gets in the way of yoga, but immediately my insulin needs and the time it took for insulin to start working went down.

Unfortunately these benefits came at the same time as my sleep troubles. At first I thought I wasn’t sleeping well because the different site was less comfortable to me, but I sensed that there was something beyond that at work.

For two pod changes I kept the pod on my belly. For nearly a week I slept like a guard dog, waking up at every creak and rattle in our albeit pretty noisy house.

Then, suddenly it hit me. That swirling unsettledness was centered around my navel.

Yesterday I changed my pod back to its old favorite spot.

Last night I slept like a champ.photo 1(9)

Now the good news is I’m back to better responsiveness to my insulin with the pod in that old spot. I suspect that area did need a break; maybe I had hit some scar tissue or my bun muscles of steel were bending the cannulas. Who knows, maybe I’ll have to eat some more of these truffles from the Chocolate Lounge where I’m writing this.

It’s snowy out today, but not icy, so we spent all morning building snowball players. The title of this post comes from the lady pitcher who’s about to throw a change-up. It’s a pretty weak pun, but she is very strong, so I wanted to put in a picture of her.

So I’m curious to know what other people’s experiences have been with how their blood sugars, emotions, and sleep patterns respond to varying pod or infusion sites. Any feedback or comments are welcome.

I can be cheery about diabetes some other time

Hey Everyone,

It’s been awhile – largely because I have been writing and sketching more for other projects, and working full-time and trying to eat well and exercise and maintain healthy relationships. I just read a great blog post from “I Am Begging My Mother Not To Read This Blog,” which I will try to link to this post, because the author could have been reading my mind, and writing it out with more humor and grace than I could. But it did make me realize something that has inspired me enough to get me typing.

I have HATED diabetes lately.

Which is so unlike me.

Because my whole m.o. is to be chipper and cheery about all the great life lessons I’ve learned from having to constantly monitor my body, evaluate my ability to drive, to perform routine tasks like getting dressed and putting on makeup without doing something mega-weird, like putting my blush away in the freezer because I’m low and I’m trying to change my pump and make my lunch to take to work and answer a text about weather or not the roads are clear enough to drive.

I hate changing my pump. For no reason. It’s very easy to do, but I hate it.

I have a secret: lately I’ve been ripping my pod off and going without it for 10 minutes between changes. Just to experience freedom from the robotic attachment, just for a few moments.

Yesterday at 7:30 pm I got a text that my flight that was supposed to take me to Arizona at 5:40 this morning had been cancelled; I guess due to the soft beautiful blanket of February snow that has draped itself over my neighborhood. I was at a bookclub meeting that I had fought to get my blood sugar up in order to drive to. I was in the 50’s for 1/2 an hour and ate some honey on toast and turned my pump down. Finally I was able to leave and go pickup my friend, 10 minutes late, which isn’t much, but seems to be the amount that diabetes insists on setting me back.

I checked my blood sugar when I got the text so I could drive home and start making pointless phone calls, because of course they are not going to reschedule the flight just so I can fly to Arizona for 24 hours. It was something like 248 mg/dl. So here I am in a bookstore saying, “Dammit! I’m so high! This all wouldn’t be so bad if I just wasn’t high!” and then having to say, equally as loud, “My blood sugar, I mean, my blood sugar is high, not me…..cause I’m diabetic, not a stoner.”

Lately, it’s been the straw that has broken my otherwise pretty great ability to make the best and brightest of any situation. It has been the thing that has turned the corners of my mouth down and made me short with people I love. Because I just feel inside of me like a caged animal without control.

On the brighter side (because some habits can’t be broken), reading “I Am Begging My Mother Not To Read This Blog’s” post made me remember that this will pass for me. That probably if I could just walk outside without enrobing myself in layer upon layer of jacket, sweater, scarf for 40 minutes first, I would be able to shake it off. Instead, I am going to have to sled it off, which I think will help both my mind and my blood sugar.

Toning my resiliency today.