Integration

It’s taken me a long time to accept that this is the way it should be.

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Being a PWD – person with diabetes.

For the first four or five years I think I was just in survival mode.

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When you first get diagnosed it’s all carb-counting and finger pricks, learning how to give yourself shots, taking over the job of a pancreas so instantly, something that you took so much for granted that you may have never thought of before. There are so many rules, techniques, methods to learn. Keeping yourself alive becomes priority # 1.

When I was first diagnosed, accepting diabetes as part of who I am was the thing I feared the most.

It’s taken ten years, but now the idea that I can begin to integrate the effects of diabetes into my identity is exciting.

And what have I learned? What am I left with? A lot. But today, I’m thinking about thinking. Something that I do a lot of. Something that diabetes requires me to do a lot of. And I’m wondering how all that thinking affects other parts of my life. 
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Feel free to share your thoughts on how having diabetes has shaped your identity.

2 thoughts on “Integration

  1. This resonates with me to the core. My first 2 years as a PWD (love that acronym) I was in complete denial. I didnt want anyone to know I had type 1. Every question or notice of my pump drove me deeper into a hole of rejection. Being my pancreas consumed so much of my thoughts that I couldnt stand to think or talk about type 1 anymore than I was required to. Diagnosed at 22 it was tough to accept diabetes as part of my identity as I had just spent the last 4 years trying to figure out just who I was without an autoimmune disease. Only recently have I come out of my shell and began identifying with type 1 and connecting with other PWDs. The support I have received from fellow T1Ds such as yourself has driven me to be proud of the fact that I am responsible for keeping myself alive on a daily basis. I now regularly identify as a PWD to everyone both in person and online. I am no longer afraid or nervous to check or inject in public or in front of friends. I have diabetes, its a part of who I am, but diabetes doesnt have me. Thanks for sharing!

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